By Mark Salamon, November 1, 2018
Cell phones have gotten a bad rap over the years. Ever since that first woman walked into a fountain, warnings have abounded about cell phone use being dangerous when done during a variety of activities including driving, walking, lying in bed, jogging, riding your bike, crossing the street, and talking to your wife. And now thanks to a report about an unfortunate man in China, this list now includes taking a crap.
That’s right, according to a report in Livescience (1), a man in China was sitting on the toilet playing games on his cell phone when be became so distracted that his rectum slipped out of his anus. Yes, you read that correctly. I had to read it twice myself. Apparently he was “playing mobile games while trying to have a bowel movement for more than half an hour.” Trying? Give the guy some credit. This was the mother of all bowel movements.
And all because of a cell phone.
This is a grim reminder that even when we feel like we have a grip on the distracting nature of these dangerous devices, we cannot let our guard down even for a second or something even worse could happen. I actually can’t think of anything worse than your asshole falling out, but I’m sure someone will come up with something.
And by the way, for those of you still wondering how, exactly, someone’s rectum falls out of their ass, this condition has a name. It’s called rectal prolapse, and it happens when part of the rectum detaches from the body and basically turns inside out. It is actually very rare, and according to the Cleveland Clinic, about two thirds of cases happen in people who strain too hard from chronic constipation or spend too much time on their cell phones. Ok, I actually made that second part up, but you have to admit that spending too much time on these dangerously distracting devices could easily make you lose track of how hard you are pushing. You just can’t be too careful.